Where On Earth?

What do you do when your head and your heart are taking you two different places? I don't even know where I am, so how am I supposed to know where to go? I know that I need help but I know that I shouldn't need help. I'm trying to fix things but I don't think I am. I think I'm on a spiral down and it feels like there's no way up. I hope that all I need is some time to collect myself. I hope that one day this will all feel better and I'll stop dragging other people down with me. That's my worst fear and the thing that I am trying to avoid the most, pulling people down this dark path. If I've got a grip on you, stop it. Get away from me while you can and don't look back. I'll figure it out one day, but I'm not taking any prisoners at the moment. 

Confession.

It's all slipping away.

I always thought it was so close but it's time to pay

I've let it go until another day.

Just give me a moment to gather my thoughts,

Please don't stand by and laugh as my body rots.

Give me some time my stomach is in knots.

I'm trying my best to be honest.

The blood is boiling in my chest.

Maybe I should just give it a rest.

I'm not sure where to start,

There is something heavy on my heart.

I feel like I haven't done my part.

Just let me try to explain.

I am a person of disdain

My significance is on the wane.